Monday, April 14, 2008

The Most Pretentious Facebook Page Ever

Yeah, sorry about the hiatus. I've been sick. And working seven days a week as a contract attorney. And the dog ate my homework.

But a while back my sister came to visit. And over many alcoholic beverages, we shared our amusement the very pretentious Facebook pages that some people have created. Come on, do you really want me to believe little 25 year old child that your favorite book is Plato's Republic? Would you like a side order of douchebaggery with your pretention?

So in honor of these brave souls, who shall remain nameless, who set out to create facebook pages that appear to shine with intellect but instead are the sounding brass of mediocrity. In their honor, my sister and I created THE MOST PRETENTION FACEBOOK PAGE EVER. We also took a really pretentious picture of her in the DC cherry blossoms.

Most of the items in the "Interests" section were chosen by going through the dictionary and picking out words we didn't know, so don't feel inadequate if you don't know either.

Now, Behold the page in all its glory!

R**** G*****,

if only for the sake of elegance, is trying to remain morally pure.



Interested In:


Relationship Status:

In a Relationship

Looking For:



May 3, 1982

Religious Views:


Personal Info


tisaning, commensalism, periphrasis, laicizing, envaginating, learning to overcome my corporeal existence


bailiwick, lascers, saggers, graban, emetine, gordian knots, megilp, megaspores, semiotics, telotaxis, villein, the Buryat Republic, the allegory of the cave, Admiral Bembo's Ladder,

Favorite Music:


Favorite TV Shows:

TV is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Favorite Movies:

Weekend (Jean Luc Goddard); Sleep (Andy Warhol); Un chien andalou (Dali et Buñuel); Ballet mécanique (Léger); Le charme discret de la bourgeoisie (Buñuel); Satyricon (Fellini)

Favorite Books:

Atlas Shrugged; Paradise Lost; Human, All Too Human; The Brothers Karamazov; Moby Dick; The Well Wrought Urn; The Oeconomicus; À la recherche du temps perdu

Favorite Quotes:

so much depends


a red wheel


About Me:

That which you call your soul or spirit is your consciousness, and that which you call 'free will' is your mind's freedom to think or not, the only will you have, your only freedom, the choice that controls all the choices you make and determines your life and your character.

15 groups.

See All

Goethe Institut(e) im Göttingen (Goettingen)Sherlock Holmes Club and Purveyors of SherlockianaCognitive SemioticsExistentialismCenter for Linguistic DiversityRaw Food Life StyleWhitehot Magazine of Contemporary Art: the official Facebook groupNouvelle VagueMatthew BarneyThe Harold Pinter Appreciation SocietyFREE TIBET!West Dean CollegeCordwainers College (London College of Fashion)University of the Arts- LondonThe Youngin Europe Facebook Group

Your results for What German philosopher are you?

Martin Heidegger

You are Heidegger: his main interests were in ontology, metaphysics, the history of Western philosophy, and technology. He is most known today for his writings on Phenomenology, Hermeneutics and Existentialism. He is criticized for joining the Nazi party during World War II, and modern philosophers don't agree about his intentions. Like Heidegger, you enjoy secluding yourself often to think about life and philosophy. You're passionate, and your relationships can sometimes be stormy.


The [Cherry] Ride said...

Awesome! Allegory of the Cave is one of my favorite interests too!

Leonesse said...

I just love all the symbolism in Atlas Shrugged. My brainwaves just went tipity tap at the thoughts of sharing my love with the world.



Blogda said...

This dude or gal is 100% unfuckable, I hope he/she is proud.

Some Guy said...

Outstanding! I'm envaginating as I write this!

Raven said...


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Looks like some of the freaky profiles I've seen on

pistols at dawn said...

Wow. That is red hot and douche.

Grant Miller said...

My favorite movies are Goddard's "Weekened" and Vivid's "Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts Vol. 83."

The Idea Of Progress said...

Er...can I sue for plagiarism, since you basically just copied my page?

katrocket said...

Thank god you're back, and looking smarter than ever!

Bitty said...

totally worth the wait. miss you.

Leonesse said...

Did you leave us for Facebook?

WendyB said...


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