Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bloggers I Have An Imaginary Crush On

1) Grant Miller
I broke my blogging cherry with you GM, you were my first link, so you'll always have a soft spot in my heart. You had me at the story where you went out of the house looking like a child molester. Also, since you're married with kids, I know you can commit. Chicks dig commitment. Or so I'm told.

2) The Gancer aka Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
How do I love thee, let me count the ways. Is it the fact that you
avatar is named after Paul Rudd's nuts in Anchorman? Your tales of pimpitude? Your good taste in music? (sigh). Also, apparently, you're willing to perm your hair to re-enact scenes from the Blue Lagoon. That works for me on so many levels. Ok, really just one...basic...level. Unfortunately, you're seeing someone presently who looks like Brooke Shields in her prime and you live in Chicago, so this seems like a no-go.

3) Pistols at Dawn
God knows I love a misanthrope. You know what we have in common? A hatred of feelings. If we ever went out what would we talk about? I'll tell
you what - not feelings. Also, your marathon-like stamina towards posting leads me to believe that you have stamina in other arenas, which is always a plus. So to sum up, stamina + no feelings = yes. Then again, we're both lawyers, and that = no.

4) Idea of Progress
Ah those soulful eyes (not that everyone can see them anymore since you changed photos, but they're good trust me on this one people). Not to mention your liberalism and vegetarianism. I'm not a vegetarian myself, but I'm for educated consumerism and I've always wanted to date across culinary lines. My parents would disapprove (why doesn't that boy eat meat?), we could fight about cuisine, it would be hot! Plus any guy who makes a short film about Mormon police is A-OK in my book and your knowledge of wine is charming. Sadly, like K-Noise you are geographically unavailable.

5) Justin of Seven is Green
Yeah, you're gay, I know I know. It's not like it's the first time I've lusted in vain after a gay man. So sue me.

6) Katrocket
You amuse me with your penis cakes and I'd like to be equal opportunity in case I decide to go sapphic. Plus the guys totally want to see us make out.



The Guv'ner said...

Hilarious! it could be the new Adventures in Loathing - BLOG PORN! :):)

Anonymous said...

Crushed to have been left off the list....

The Idea Of Progress said...

I wish I had seen this before I made my list awards! What could be a greater honor?

Anonymous said...

where's my B and the B post?!?!

pistols at dawn said...

Hey, I just stopped by to not talk about my feelings. If I had feelings, I imagine the one I would have about receiving this vaunted award would be "hungry." Wait, no, "malleable."

Is that even an emotion? Christ, I'm bad at this. Oh, I got it! "Appreciative."

pistols at dawn said...

Also, my main area of stamina is in being a jerk.

Leonesse said...

Since everyone is jumping on this awards wagon, Pistols should create a Jerk of the Month award.

katrocket said...

Woohoo!!! perhaps you could be a thesbian?(a straight girl who like to make out with chicks after a few drinks.)

I like the new digs. Very roomy!

Grant Miller said...

Thanks for putting me on top.

Anonymous said...

BTW - could we get a pic with Mr.Progress where we can see said dreamy eyes?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

What an honor!

"Pimptitude," huh? I'll take that as a compliment . . .

McGone said...

This tightness in my chest is sorrow for not making the cut. Or angina.

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

Guv - Eh, don't tempt me. Too easy.

Jack - Welcome. I can hardly have a crush on someone who's never commented before.

Idea - There is no greater honor. Except being my love slave.

Anonymous (my sister) - Chill out. It's coming.

Pistols - The jerk is strong with this one.

Leonesse - excellent idea.

Kat - consider me a Thesbian. Or a sorority girl.

Grant - you're always on top baby.

Anonymous (my sis again) - this picture is coming.

K-Noise - Yes, it was indeed a compliment.

McGone - I didn't want to offend the girl. You two seem so happy I didn't want to cause a ruckus. Unless you watch Big Love and have some ideas.

Blogda said...

Well, I was going to put out next time, but since I didn't make the list, you're just going to have to satisfy yourself...again. Oh, who am I kidding, I can;t resist you!

Evil Evil Genius said...

While everyone knows I am sucker for GM and Pistols intellectually speaking, I have to agree that IoP has it going on.

josh pincus is crying said...

Have you seen MY BLOG yet?
McGone likes it. You will, too.
I'm not looking for a crush, just readers.

Justin said...

I forgot to tell you I'm flattered. I've never been in the top 5 of anything.