Sunday, March 2, 2008

Me, My Greek Chorus, and I: More Things That Thag and I Think Are Funny (and no one else does)

Longtime readers may remember my alter ego Thag.

Thag is my id, that internal voice that says, "no, don't calmly reboot your computer, hit it while cursing loudly until it works". Thag is also entirely responsible for my puerile sense of humor, and therefore, ultimately responsible for this post.

Also, please meet my super-ego, who I like to call Happy Robot Face.

Alec Baldwin,
CANC-er Doctor

Before he was on 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin (the only Baldwin that counts) was one of the greatest SNL hosts of all time. My favorite skit from the late 90's featured Alec describing to an entertainment report how he prepared for his role as a doctor on a popular (fictional) soap. Alec waxed on and on about the fact that he studied with real doctors to prepare for his role.
When they cut to a scene from the soap, Alec pronounced every medical term incorrectly. For example "Sir, I hate to tell you this, but you have a tumor. That's right, it's CANC-er. It could be be-NIG, it could be mall-egg-NANT.

Be-NIG or mall-egg-Nant. That's HIGH-larious.

You are both idiots.

Tobias Funke,
Ah Arrested Development. It makes me sad to no end that there were only three seasons of what I believe to be the funniest show ever. Especially when one considers that oh, Home Improvement was on for 8 seasons and Everybody Loves Raymond was on for 9. Middle America just doesn't appreciate great comedy, and perhaps such people do not deserve better. I digress.

So one of the best moments on Arrested Development (and there are many) occurred when Tobias Funke, the closeted psychiatrist, has new business cards made. Thinking he is being clever with his job title, Tobias decides to combine "Analyst" and "Therapist" to form "Analrapist" (which is of course Anal Rapist). For some reason, I find mispronouncing words hilarious. The zinger is when Tobias's daughter, Maeby, throws in "Yeah, Dad nearly went to jail for that one."

ah-NAL-rapist. So funny...can't...stop...laughing....

It's a good thing breathing is an autonomic function, otherwise you two would be in a world of hurt. I know you won't get that joke, but what I'm saying is you two are so stupid you can barely breathe.

Who doesn't need 8 assorted size imitation chamois?! I can't think of anyone. In fact, since I wish never to buy paper towels again, I think 8 ShamWows are perfectly in order. And at only $20, what a bargain! If you don't believe me, go to the website for the man wearing a headset to tell you more.

ShamWow - the name says it all.

Woe that my existence is shackled to the likes of you two.


Nina Paley said...

My id, ego and superego all thought that was hilarious.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Holy ShamWow, I miss Arrested Development.

Grant Miller said...

I need to watch my "Arrested Development" DVDs again.

McGone said...

I didn't realize that I was Thag until just now.

I actually just watched the third season of Arrested again this weekend (best part of being sick and staying in)... the analrapist joke keeps on giving, as later in the season Tobias says to Michael:

"Michael if I may take off my acting pants and pull my Analrapist stocking over my head, I think George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder", or the "The O.C. Disorder."

That's hilarious. Go Team Thag!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

My sister told me to check out this post. You're fan base is growing . . .

Alec Baldwin is right up there with Steve Martin and Tom Hanks for best guests ever.

pistols at dawn said...

That Alec Baldwin skit was cleverer than it deserved to be.

The Arrested Development moment that always makes me realize how much funnier it is than all things is when Gob and Michael are arguing about the boat, and one says, "You've got to get rid of the Seaward," to which their mother replies, "Hey! I'm standing right here!"

The Ms. Doubtfire thing may also make me laugh aloud just thinking about it.

The Guv'ner said...


Am I the only person alive never to have seen Arrested Development? I really want to as well but somehow it escaped my clutches. Must rec-TI-fy.

Analrapist. That's some funny sheeyat.

Leonesse said...

Wonderful post. Reads like Shakespeare all analrapisted up with Freud.

katrocket said...

Very funny post, and I'm with these guys - who couldn't love a show where Charlize Theron plays a retarded girl for 5 episodes?

Evil Genius said...

I alwasy thought Thag was your dog. I amgined him to be a French Bulldog. I am glad we cleared this up.

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