More Emails From My Mother: Adventures in Texas Opry

Well, Girls, your Dad and I have failed you. We neglected to expose you to the culture right here in our own back yard. Tonight we had an incredible evening.

We went to Wylie for dinner at "A Taste of Home". Daughter 2 and I went there for lunch before she left. The dinner entrees were not as good as the lunch offerings but it could be just what we ordered--we had the turkey and dressing--which was good but not as outstanding as the chicken salad. They did a good job in the old house and we even had a glass of wine with dinner. They need as few lessons in fine dining. Why would you seat a "mature couple" next to a table with 3 kids? Especially since we had reservations and they knew we were coming. Put all the adults in a room together and all the families in another. The house certainly would accommodate that arrangement.

After our dinner we strolled down the street to check out the Wylie Opry. We were reading the signs on the window when a large lady swooped out and asked if we liked country music. We said "yes" so she said "come on in--we have a live band". Well, things have changed since we use to go to the Farmersville Opry in the early 70's to hear Blondy Jhune play mandolin. They use to pass the hat but now there is a $7 charge for seniors. Let me tell you we were not only among the youngest patrons but also the thinnest.

When we purchased our tickets the man said, "I guess you want something near the back. Well, I'm putting you next to two ladies who can answer any question you might have since this is your first time." Well, we take our seats and before long the three ladies from the row ahead plus the two beside us were asking where we were from and assuring us we were going to love the music. One lady went back to get us a program and we were all becoming fast friends--as is common in the South.

The lady sitting next to me had stories to rival Mrs. Phil Morgan. She just had cataract surgery last Monday and couldn't find 2.50+ reading glasses. This problem I could help with as I told her the nicer ones could be had at "Reading Glasses to Go" but I think she sensed they might be expensive and said she really didn't know how badly she needed them so I steered her to Walgreens. Now, we are really getting close so she precedes to tell me that she had 4 sons but has lost 2. One was 55 in the hospital for 4 weeks with a blocked bowl before he passed. The other son worked in oil and gas in Cleburne, was 51 and died suddenly with a heart attack. She had also lost her husband who had 4 stints and lots of surgery but still she wasn't prepared.

Luckily, the show started. What a surprise. They opened with "Folsom Prison" and I said to Dad--Daughter 2 would have loved this. The band was incredibly good--suitable for a wedding party on the back lawn, Daughter 2. They were all amazing musicians and could sing as well. But then the talent for the evening started performing. There were three teen age girls--Lee Ann Rhimes "wannabes". Well, They screeched, couldn't understand a thing they sang and were most of the time off key--just like Lee Ann. Luckily, they were only permitted to do 2 numbers before intermission and 1 after. There was another young man dressed in a white suit--looked just like Hank Williams--who was very good and another young man with a high tenor voice who was also very good. Another young man's voice has yet to change so I fear for his long range career.

As each performer sang there was a basket out front on the stage and people filed down and put bills--dollars, I presume--in the basket. All seemed to go away with a hand full of bills regardless of ability.

The show started at 8 and ended promptly at 11--closing with a gospel number that was real swinging. Our neighbors invited us to come back on Friday night for the gospel show assuring us it was just as good but started at 7:30 and ended at 11. Know what--I'll bet the gospel show would be entertaining as well.

Well, girls, when you are home the next visit we will have to remedy this lack of exposure to our local culture. Perhaps you will have guests who you would like to impress with the "classy" atmosphere afforded by the "Wylie Opry". Just so you won't have to wait that long Dad is going to order a DVD of tonight's show. Am sure the experience will be lacking as I think you would have to be there to get the full effect.

It's late and I'm tired--a big evening--you know.

We love you and miss you both so much. You see what boredom has led us to....

Love, MOM

Another Vanity Project Someone Should Have Stopped

You know what being pretty and having big boobs will get you? IF you're an actress, pretty much anything. Sometimes even a record deal. Because nothing says I'm good at everything like being sort of good at one thing.

Case in point: Scarlett Johansson's debut album "Anywhere I Lay My Head". I hope her debut album is also her finale as well as her greatest hits. For anyone who think I'm overly critical, I'll just let you revisit her karaoke triumph in Lost in Translation. But wait, karaoke is *supposed* to sound bad some of you might argue.

Well to those of you who believe that, listen to this single from her album -- S Jo's own version
Personally, I believe that's hubris -- only Tom Waits sings Tom Waits. I would also submit that this version is terrible, although the Waits apparently oked this. And David Bowie is singing back up vocals. Not to mention the video seems to be a tribute to how "difficult" it is to be beautiful and get made up and what not.

All of which just makes me wonder what is wrong with the unvierse.

You can hear the original falling down here.